A glimpse into the Mind of Adam Sill
"Never forget what you are. For surely the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." -Tyrion Lannister

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Little Black Box

   An Epic Story of Love and Romance by Adam Sill

   This is my Ordinary Adventure

   I sat in my room and stared at the floor. Her name rang in my head. She had been all I could think of. Everything about Her seemed so perfect and so lovely to me. I wanted to ask Her a question. The question. It had been on my mind for weeks. and for weeks I contemplated different ways to ask Her. Ways that involved giant banners, stuffed animals, and elephants. But as I sat in my room that night, I was not thinking of how to ask Her, but rather I was thinking about my Father. My Heavenly Father in relation to Her. I thought of how much He loved Her. How He must have chosen me for Her, because it all seemed so right. I thought of how, if I was with Her, I would treat Her like a princess. Like the most important person in the world. I thought of how I would make God the center of our relationship. Then, suddenly, one word popped into my head; "Tomorrow"
   I didn't know why, but for some reason my heart knew it. "Tomorrow."
   "Why tomorrow?" I asked myself
   "Because," I answered, "You are ready. So is she. Tomorrow."
   That was all it took. I was ready to ask her. So I ran into my brother's room and found a small black box sitting on his book shelf. I opened the box to find his class ring. I removed the ring and retreated to my room, where I immediately pulled out tape, scissors, and paper, and got to work on the most romantic, most heartfelt, and, without a doubt, the most foolish thing I would ever do.
   The next day I awoke at 5:58 a.m. I leaped out of bed and took a shower. The morning went by fast. I ate breakfast and got ready for school. When I got to school, I got my friends together and told them of my intentions for the day. When they asked my how I was going to do it, I simply pulled out the little black box and opened it. Their impressions were all the same. The girls little gasps of excitement followed by some "oos" and "awes". The boys, however, hung back their heads and laughed. However, their mockery was slightly encouraging. I told my friends to watch as I asked Her the question. They agreed. Some even asked if they could tell more people to come and watch. When I told them it was okay they were filled with excitement.
   So, I went on through the day and I thought about Her. I thought about asking her. I thought of what I was going to say. How I would say it. I sat in Spanish trying to plot out my words in my head;
   'I care about you more than anyone else. Whenever I'm not with you, I'm thinking about you, and whenever I am with you, I can't even breathe. I need to be with you. And I think we need to take a step forward in our relationship. Will-'
   I was cut off by the sound of my Spanish teacher, Mr. Hernandez, yelling at me, asking me whether I was paying attention or if I was just going to keep staring at Her all period. The class laughed and I shrugged back into my seat in embarrassment.
   English. The last class of the day. I pulled out the little black box and stared at it. I thought of how I was going to ask Her. About what Her response would be. About what I would do if She said, "No." This was the longest period I had ever sat through. I was so worried. I sang songs aloud just to relieve the tension. And when I realized that I was sitting in class, I silenced myself as everyone stared at me. People walked by my desk and glanced down at the little black box. When they asked me what it was for, I told them. For I had no shame. The girls in my class surrounded me and asked questions about Her. It was a little comforting, because I did not feel isolated, but rather supported. I got excited when I looked up at the clock and saw that there were only two minutes left in class. I counted down the seconds until I reached zero, and the loud bell rang throughout the school, releasing the students to go home. I stuffed the little black box in my back pocket and left the class.
   I walked over to Her class and waited for her. When She walked out of the classroom and I saw her face- her beautiful face, my heart began to race. Now, I was scared, but I did not want to give up. As we walked to the Quad, She told me a story about something that happened in Her class. Though I wanted to listen to Her story, my mind was on the question, and on the little black box stuffed deep in my back pocket. As we approached the very poorly painted rock at the center of the school, my mind began to spin. I stopped walking and looked around to see all of my friends watching me from a distance.
   I grabbed Her arm and She turned around to face me. I had prepared a long speech about how I cared about her and how I wanted to be with her, but the moment I looked into her beautiful eyes, my mind had gone blank. So I spit out what I could muster up;
   "Sammy," I said, "I need to ask you a question."
   "What question?" she asked
   In one quick motion, I threw down my bag, got down on one knee, took the little black box out of my pocket and opened it. I watched her eyes as they read the piece of paper inside the box that read, "Will you be my girlfriend?"
   I am afraid to inform you that She did not say "Yes." However, She did not say "No" either. What She did was more terrifying than answering the question. She grabbed my wrist and tried to pull me away. She was embarrassed. But I pulled her back and said, "No! You need to answer me right now!"
   "Yes!" She exclaimed, "Now get up!"
   Though She said it in the meanest way possible, she said it nonetheless. "Yes." That word rang through my mind. There were many feelings that followed her answer; Excitement, confusion, acceptance, etc. and they all left a red blushed face on my head. This was happiness. Not joyfulness. But happiness. How I was able to create joy through Her is a different story. Perhaps I will write about it one day. Perhaps not. But as of now, that day was one of my happiest.
   We walked together as we left the school. And I held her hand.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Bribe Me Out Of Hell

Lately I have been trying very hard to bring my friends to church. It seems that every week I turn to them and just ask them the same six words; "Wanna come to church with me?" some are easily persuaded, and some require a little more work. And as I struggle to reach out to my friends, I start to forget why I am inviting them. So I sit down and think. A good portion of them do not know Christ. What does this mean? HELL. If they die, they are going to Hell. There's no way around it. Hell. Eternal suffering. Total separation from God. Forever.I don't think that we truly realize what Hell is. So I am going to try as best I can to draw a quick picture of what it's like.

You lay on the floor, surrounded by darkness and silence. There is nothing around you, and you cannot even see two feet in front of you. You hear an unwholesome screeching in your ears as you feel claws tearing away at your flesh. Then you are burned. Your entire body is engulfed in fire. You feel your flesh burn off your bones. You try to scream, but nothing emerges from your mouth. You cry out to God, but He is not there. He will never be there. No one can help you. The fire will burn away at your body forever. Hell is infinite. Which means you will be there alone forever. suffering through the pain and torture on your own. God will not be with you. You can't pray to him. it's too late. There is no more hope for you.

That is what I believe Hell is like. Now, after I thought about this, I got scared. I was scared for my friends. I would lay down at night and feel this stress and anxiety tearing away at my soul. So I kept asking my friends to come. Though some of them came around, most of them rejected my offer. So I kept getting more and more worried. Eventually, whenever I heard an ambulance, my heart started racing. 'I can't let my friends go to Hell!'

I began to use different approaches to get my friends to go. I offered them money, time, etc. But they still rejected it. It took a long time, but I realized what my fault was; I wasn't letting God speak through me. I was not listening to him, but rather, I was trying to bribe them with idols. So, instead of going to church, seeking God, they were going to church for Counterfeit Gods. I can't bribe them out of Hell.

The point of this blog is this; If you are having trouble with convincing your friends to go to church, don't worry. Keep asking them. Put the opportunity in their lap, and let God do His thing. Because we aren't the ones reaching out to them. God is.
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