My Life, Restored

Sometimes I feel like I could be better. Just in general. I feel as if I am not living up to my full potential. In fact, I know I am not. I got a "D" in Algebra 1 last year. Not because it was hard or that I didn't understand it. It was my second year taking it. I just simply did not do the work. And now I'm being forced to take the same class I have already taken for two years again.

God works in strange ways. I know that taking Algebra 1 a third year will make me a more responsible, and better student. But all I can say is, "Praise the Lord!" This last week I went houseboating with my church. I can honestly say that it was the best week of my life. Not because of the games we played. Not even because of the relationships that were formed. The reason is simply this; For about a year now, I have liked a girl named "X". However much I liked her, she did not share the same feelings for me. So I tried as hard as I could to get her to like me. I flirted with her, I texted her constantly. I put all of my time and effort into getting her to like me, that eventually she became the center of my universe. I didn't read my Bible every day. I wasn't praaying as much as I used to, and when I sang out to God in worship, I'd be standing next to X hoping that she'd hear my voice and think it was really good. God called out to me. He told me to separate myself from X. I didn't listen. I ignored God for so long that eventually, I could no longer hear him. X did not go on the houseboating trip. If she had, it would not have been the best week of my life because on the trip, my boat driver, Cassi, gave a little testimony about putting God first. That's when I realized that my relationship with God was hanging on by a thread. I made a decision to separate myself from X.

The next day, we had a three hour quiet time. As I read and prayed and journaled, I could feel God's love flowing through me. It was so powerful and magnificent, that it brought me to tears. On my trip back from camp I sat with my friends, Nick, Sarah, and Maryrose. We talked about how God has one person out there for us, and we can't just give our hearts to the first nice girl/guy with a pretty face that we see. We have to save ourselves for Her/Him. On that ride home, I discovered that I don't have the same feelings for X anymore. Which is good, because the Sunday I returned, X pulled me aside and asked for my approval of a guy that she likes. I said, "Yes" obviously, because he is a great guy who would take care of her. But when she asked for my approval, I wasn't sad at all. I was so happy I had to keep myself from smiling. Then I thought, "If I hadn't gone to camp, I'd be a wreck."

So from the two events involving X and Algebra 1, I think that God will use these to make me his disciple, and his warrior. I am in a place with God that I have been yearning for a long time.

God works in strange ways.