A glimpse into the Mind of Adam Sill
"Never forget what you are. For surely the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." -Tyrion Lannister
Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts

Monday, December 5, 2011

The Black and White Car: The Temptress


A Short Story by Adam Sill
Shaun sat at his desk in his room staring at his computer. The door was locked and his ipod played music through loud speakers that made everything in the room inaudible. His mouse hovered over the browser button. He’d been in this position before. So many times had he fallen to the temptation of the subtle, momentary pleasures that sat beyond that small “click” of the mouse.
His face was vacant and his body frozen.
He sat for a few minutes without moving, then his hands began to shake… Then his head… His knees. He let go of the mouse and sat back in his chair. He glared at the bright glowing screen. His mouth sneered but his eyes were laden with lust. He lifted both hands to his head and began to scruff up his hair. “ohhh….” He moaned, “Come on! Come on!” He slammed his open hand against the top of his desk. “Godammit, come on!”
He attempted to stand up but he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see a tall woman. She had dark orange hair, and brown eyes that pierced into his. She wore a tight red dress and makeup. A lot of makeup. Red lipstick, and gray eyeliner. She stared at Shaun. Her eyes ran him up and down. In that moment, Shaun felt totally exposed. He tried to turn away from her but she pulled him back. “No!” he yelled, “Not any more!”
“Shaun.” She said in a soft but firm voice.
“No. I can’t!” Shaun said, but he felt her grasping his heart, and though he did not want her there, he could not let her leave.
“Shaun.” She repeated, “It’s okay.”
“No it’s not.” He replied
“Yes… It is. You are sixteen years old. You are old enough to do this.”
Shaun began to shake his head violently. “No! It’s wrong!”
“Why?” she asked, “Why is it wrong?”
“It’s lust!” he retorted, “It’s – it’s…” He drooped his head and stared at his feet.
She reached out and gently touched his chin, pushing his face upwards. She stared down deep into his eyes and he could feel her entering an deep empty pit in the middle of his stomach.
“It’s what you want.” She said, “It’s what you need.”
Shaun closed his eyes. She grabbed his hand and began to guide it to the mouse. Though she was guiding his hand, he was the one moving it. He grasped the mouse and double clicked. The search engine opened, and he clicked on the white blank bar. The blinking black line sat on the white bar. Shaun let out a subtle groan. “Please.” He turned his head away from the screen, and closed his eyes.
She gently pushed his head back towards the screen and whispered in his ear, “Yes, you can.”
He opened his eyes and reached out to the keyboard. He typed in one letter; “P”
Immediately, a list of possible searches popped up under his “P”
He stopped and read each one; “Puggles for sale” “Pirates of the Caribbean” “Pictures of sunsets” “Pythagorean Theorum” until he reached the very bottom; “Passion of the Christ”
“Oh no…” Shaun said, “This is not-“
“Ignore it.” she whispered in his ear.
“I- I can’t.” he said as he glanced out the window. His jaw dropped as he stared into the street outside where he saw an old black and white car.
“No!” she said, “Close the window!”
“But – It’s Him.”
“No it is not! Don’t look outside!”
“Why not?”
“He is not the way! He is false. And he is selfish! He doesn’t care about you! If he did, then where has he been this whole time. I’ve made you feel better about yourself! I’ve given you something to live for!”
“No,” Shaun said, “You haven’t. You’ve left me broken. Cold. Homeless.”
“Where has he led you?” She asked, “He does not know what is best for you! I do!”
“I’m going outside.” Shaun said
“No!”
Shaun stood up and walked toward the door. “Stop” She yelled as she followed him outside.
As he began to approach the car, She grabbed onto his arm and pulled him around. “Shaun,” she said, “I know it hurts. I know that you feel alone and you feel like there is nothing out there for you. But you’re wrong. I’m here. I’ve always been here and I am the way.”
“You don’t get it.” Shaun said. He turned around and continued walking toward the car. She ran around in front of him and stood between he and the car, stopping him in his path.
“Wait, Shaun!”
“Shut up!” Shaun yelled, “You did this to me! You made me feel alone! You have screwed up everything I had going for me, and I am not going to take it any more! Now get out of my way, you bitch!” He pushed past her and walked toward the car.
“No!” she yelled, “Shaun, come back!”
Shaun walked around to the passenger’s side of the car and grabbed the handle. “No!” She continued to scream. He pulled the door open and got in the car. Immediately she shattered into small pieces of glass and burned away on the ground leaving a mound of sand that blew away into the wind.
Shaun looked over at the man sitting in the driver’s seat. He looked young and strong. The Driver turned and looked at Shaun. The Driver had soft eyes. But they were strong. Not strong like the Temptress. But powerfully deep.
“She’ll be back.” Driver said.
“She will?” Shaun asked
“Yes. But don’t worry, I’ll be here with you. As long as you stay with me, she can’t steal your heart.”
Shaun took in a deep breath of relief, sank back into his seat, and buckled his seatbelt.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

E = The Edge

The Edge
Directed By: Lee Tamahori
Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin, Elle Macpherson, and Harold Perrineau
Rated R for language and some adventure gore/violence

WARNING!!! Spoiler Alert... If you have not seen this film, I suggest you watch the movie before reading this blog. Otherwise, Enjoy!

The film, The Edge is about three men who are trapped in the wilderness after surviving a plane crash. As they struggle to survive and find rescue, they are also being hunted by a grizzly Bear.

While there are many aspects of this film that could be connected to the Bible and our walk with the Lord, I am only going to focus on one- The Bear.

In the film, the three men, Charles, Robert, and Stephan, had sustained many injuries from the plane crash. And while trying to start a fire, Stephan accidentally stabs himself in the leg. After a while, the great bear smells his blood in the air and attacks. He kills Stephan and feeds on his body. Though Charles and Robert escape, the Bear continues to hunt them down.

A little while back I had given my testimony. I spoke about pornography, and how it was my greatest temptation in life. However, I think this film works as a good analogy for all temptations.

In 1 Peter 5:8 it says, "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."

The Devil is a hunter. A master hunter at that, and this film draws the perfect picture of us when we are faced with the devil and the temptations he presents.

In my testimony I talked about how people always throw around the expression "Flee from Temptation". And although I do agree that we should Flee from temptation, I have a problem with the "wording" of the expression. We cannot run away from temptation. Especially when it has already made an influence on our lives.

In the film, Stephan is stabbed in the leg, and he begins to bleed. Once that blood has hit the air, the bear can smell it. (It's like the shark of the land). Stephan can try to run, he can try to hide, but he will fail. No matter how hard he tries he can't escape the bear, because it can already sense his weakness.

The same goes for our situation with the Devil. When our sins take a hold on us, we cannot just flee from them. The enemy will follow you wherever you go, and when you are at your weakest, he will attack.

In the film, Charles finally comes to the conclusion that the only way he and Robert can survive, is if they fight the bear. So, they sharpen up wooden spears, and fight off the bear.

What made it possible for these characters to fight off the bear?... The Spears. 

1 Peter 1:9 says, "Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. remember that your Christian brothers and sisters are going through the same kind of suffering you are."

Right here in the Bible it tells us to FIGHT BACK. "Stand firm against him"; so we are not to hide. We are not to run. We are to stand up to him like a bully trying to steal our lunch money.

"be strong in your faith"; We can't fight off a bear with our bare hands. We need spears. When we fight Satan, we NEED God. We cannot do it on our own. 

J.P. Charfauros created a marvelous analogy of our faith being represented as a sword and shield. He said, "If we have strong faith in God, our sword and shield shall be strong. But if our faith is lacking, it's like fighting with a plastic knife and a paper plate." 

We find our strength in God, so if you are in a situation where you feel trapped, turn to God. He is the only one with all the right answers. 

"all your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are."; If you feel like you are in a rut in which there is no escape, do not be discouraged. There are literally thousands of people going through the exact same thing as you. Have faith in this. It shows that there is a way out. And it's God. He is the way, the truth, and the light. Turn to Him.

"What one man can do, another can do."

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